StopProAna.com

 
 
Someone tweeted that quote yesterday or today and I was in disbelief .  My first thought was "well if I feel trapped in my body, I can't just leave it, because there is no open door for that." Then I came to the realization that there IS an open door for that. It's called an eating disorder. If I feel trapped, my eating disorder has countless ways to attempt to counteract that, but it is not nearly as successful now as it used to be. The eating disorder is what makes you feel trapped. It's not your body that makes you feel trapped. It took me about ten years to figure this out, and I am only a teenager. I've come a long way in discovering that there is more to me than a number and more to me than a size; the eating disorder community reiterates these statements time and time again, so I am not saying anything new. What I am saying, is to not stay trapped in prison if the door is left wide open. DON'T stay trapped in an eating disorder, don't stay trapped in your mind. The door is so wide open that it can fit the whole population of the world into it. The door that has EXIT written all over it is the door to recovery. It is the door to life. This weekend, I was actually able to dance and feel good about myself body image wise. I wore a bathing suit without wanting to jump out of my skin, and I laughed without worrying if there was something in my teeth, which I learned later on by looking at pictures that nobody told me I had a piece of green something in my teeth, but that's okay. Life is bumpy, I'll be the first to admit it. Its challenges and struggles are what got me to this point today, though. I don't need my scale. I don't need food labels. I don't need a red bracelet. I don't need to know my size. I don't need to know how many calories are in the cookies I'm about to devour. I don't need pro-ana websites. I don't need an eating disorder. What I need is food. A love for my body, and a positive body image. A love for God and a love for everything that gets shot my way. But really, all I need is that door to be wide open, because as long as it stays wide open, my life stays wide open too....
 


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