StopProAna.com

 
 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You talk, I'll listen. That's how I like to think about things. But in order to get the help you need, you gotta talk. Alright, so what does that mean? I myself have a terribly difficult time talking about things. I like to hold it all in (a huge part of anorexia, one of the biggest character traits is withdrawal, and quietness). Most people don't see this. I'm pretty much known as the girl who is really loud and outgoing, and admittengly sometimes obnoxious. That's me on the surface though, and in comfortable situations. When I'm out in public and by myself, I just try to seclude myself and be invisible. Don't ask me why this is, I seriously think it's just one of my anorexic character traits, and that's okay. I don't have to change that. But I often wonder if my loudness is also just a defense mechanism, me trying to tell the world that I don't really care what anybody thinks about me, but that's largely untrue. Well, I am most comfortable with myself, and don't essentially care what anybody does think, it all doesn't really make sense. What comes first, the chicken or the egg? Don't get be started on that one...I could start thinking about that one for hours! 
NEDA's tag line is "It's Time to Talk About It" and rightfully so. How can we stop eating disorders if we don't spread the word and be advocates!?!??!?!WE CAN'T!!!! So, today, just do one thing! As NEDA says. It's time to talk about it. So spread the word to a friend, post a facebook status, send a tweet, an e-mail, a text, and tell your friend about pro-ana sites and why they are so bad. Thanks for talking about it with me! 
My thing that makes me smile today is the song Smile by Uncle Kracker!!!! You make me smile like the sun, fall outta bed, sing like a bird....... :) 
Now while I go off to eat a massive sandwich and attend contemporary catholic theology! 
-M


 
Today I decided to take care of me. I've been feeling really ill lately, what some may call in the medical field (not me, of course) "extreme fatigue". It's been pretty miserable to say the least, but I woke up this morning after feeling this way for a few days, and decided I was gonna call the doctor. CALL THE DOCTOR YOU SAY?! yeah.....i never used to do that kind of thing. happens when you have an eating disorder. taking care of yourself=unknown concept. or denied concept. take your pick. but recovery is ALL about self-care and knowing your self-worth. so i am mighty proud that i went to the doctor today. Even picking up that phone is a step in a new direction for me. Like big deal!!! I never call health care providers because I'm scared of talking on the phone. But that fear didn't even enter my mind. I just went ahead and called. WOOHOO! i am awesome. haha.....okay not true, but a part of my recovery is to learn my awesomeness while excepting it, no? So, what I'm trying to say is, even though I still feel awfully, I made a recovery step today. Even though I had my blood drawn today, and to me getting blood drawn just has eating disorder written all over it, I still did it!!! I took the steps toward self-care. So today, what I'm trying to say is, self-care is the way to go. And if we wanna talk anti pro-ana today, just think about how pro-ana supports DAMAGE TO THE SELF and not self-care. So, don't visit pro-ana sites if you are trying to practice self-care....which should be ya'll! And no I'm  not from the south, but remember, wellness is key all around! okay i'll stop my really awful jokes. Just think about wellness, and self-care. These are tastes of recovery I thought I would never experience. And that is AWESOME!!!!!!! so, even though I still have no idea what is wrong with me in terms of why I feel ill, what is right with me is my self-care! So say a little prayer I feel better. But until next time....do one thing today to take care of YOU! A bath, a walk, phone an important friend you never get to talk to, look at a picture that makes you smile, look up a funny joke and laugh until you cry of utter happiness, brush your hair, do your make up for the heck of it, go for a run, listen to your favorite song, watch your favorite movie, kiss your significant other, hug someone you care about, DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SMILE AND TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!!!!!! :) 
Now while I go and read an introduction to contemporary psychodynamic theory, have an awesome day!!!
With self-caring love,
M
Picture
little kids....i always knew how to make myself smile!!!! SILLY!!!!!! :D